Thomas Gray to Norton Nicholls, 3 May 1771

I can not tell you, what I do not know myself; nor did I know, you staid for my determination to answer B:s letter. I am glad to hear you say, you shall go at all events, because then it is sure, I shall not disappoint you; & if (wch I surely wish) I should be able to accompany you, perhaps I may prevail upon you to stay a week or fortnight for me: if I find it will not do, you certainly shall know it.

Three days ago I had so strange a letter from B: I hardly know how to give you any account of it, & desire you would not speak of it to any body. that he has been le plus malheureux des hommes, that he is decidé à quitter son pays, that is, to pass the next winter in England: that he can not bear la morgue de l'aristocratie, & l'orgueil armé des loix, in short, strong expressions of uneasiness & confusion of mind, so much as to talk of un pistolet & du courage, & all without the shadow of a reason assign'd, & so he leaves me. he is either disorder'd in his intellect (wch is too possible) or has done some strange thing, that has exasperated his whole family & friends at home, wch (I'm afraid) is at least equally possible. I am quite at a loss about it. you will see & know more: but by all means curb these vagaries & wandering imaginations, if there be any room for counsels.

You aggravate my misfortunes by twitting me with Temple, as if a pack of names of books & editions were any cure for his uneasiness, & that I witheld it from him. I have had neither health nor spirits all the winter, & never knew or cared, what weather it was, before. the Spring is begun here, Swallows were seen 23 April, the Redstart, on ye 26th, the Nightingale was heard on ye 29th, & the Cuckow, on 1st of May. methinks I could wish, that Wheeler went with you, whether I do or not!